Choosing Sex Toys for Men
One of Aphrodite’s Pleasure’s customers, let’s call him John, has asked after reading the last column, “Well how do men choose a sex toy then?”
So the challenge has been laid and here I go as I (try) to explain how to choose sex toy for men. The variety of toys available for men is extensive. Many of the adult toys available at Aphrodite’s Pleasure has been chosen as they have a use in the treatment of some of the sexual issues I deal with in my practice at Sex Life Therapy. That said, the adult products are also selected as they provide fantastic pleasure to the user or users. Like, the women’s toys, the men’s toys are also selected based on recommendation by our “panel of selectors”.
What do you want it to do?
Sex toys for men have improved in the selection of adult toys available and also the manufacture of these adult products. When selecting a sex toy you need to think about what you want the adult product to do. Are you wanting to stimulate or help create erections, or longer lasting erections, or delay ejaculation and even create extra stimulation to assist with ejaculation?
Another aspect men need to consider when selecting a sex toy is which area of your body you want to stimulate: your penis shaft and glans, your perineum, your prostate or a combination of areas. You also need to reflect on what and how you want to stimulate the area, whether through vibrations or massage or in the case of P-spot (prostate) manual stimulation.
This exercise is one I often use with men to assist them to get to know their tackle – genitals.
As men we begin masturbating to ejaculation during our teen years and develop a technique which, for many men, never or rarely changes. We learn many of our sexual techniques during these important formative years including behaviours like masturbating only in the shower, or having to be quick.
This exercise is too encourage men to get to know their genitals better and also to identify new ways of enjoying masturbation. It is not task but an exercise in self-pleasuring and enjoyment.Begin by lying comfortably on the bed or sitting in your arm chair.
Ensure you have the time and privacy. It is not a rush job, nor is it fun to be caught. If you have a mirror where you can watch how your body responds and reacts all the better.Start by taking a few deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Relax. Empty your mind of distracting thoughts.
To begin with let your hands stoke your over your body. Notice your nipples. Touch them. Maybe use a little spit on your thumb and rub them, or squeeze them gently. Many men never play with their nipples, yet a man’s nipples have as many nerve endings as a woman’s nipples. Let your hands travel down your torso and stroke your thighs and focus on inner thighs. Do not worry about your penis yet.
Touch your testicles and scrotum. Tickle them with your fingers, squeeze them gently and roll them about. Bounce them up and down on your finger tips. Maybe you would like to stretch your scrotum downwards, or even encircle the top of your scrotum and stretch your scrotum and testicles downwards. Do be gentle guys – do not be over zealous.
Next touch your perineum. The “notcha” or guiche area – the bit of skin between your scrotum and anus. Tickle this area. This is a highly sensitive area. Allow a finger to encircle and play around your anus. You don’t have insert anything just tickle the area.
Now return to your penis and being to touch and then stroke your penis lightly. Use your fingers to trace along the penis. As you become more erect begin to masturbate your penis. Change hands. Also return to playing with your nipples, testicles and perineum and/or anus while masturbating your shaft. Stroke your body, thighs. Experience the sensations of your body.
If you are uncircumcised pull your foreskin back. Now focus on your just rubbing your glans. If your routine is doing a “dry wank” add some lubricant. If not try a different lubricant. Use different stroke techniques.
If you are masturbating in front of the mirror, note how your body changes. Where you flush. What your testicles and scrotal skin do as you become more aroused. Be mindful about how your body responds. Hopefully you have better idea of what areas you want to stimulate.
Male Sex Toys
In this column I will explore and explain the four keys groups of adult toys for men stocked at Aphrodite’s Pleasure: cock rings, masturbators, P-spot and anal toys, and penis pumps.
Penis Rings or Cock Rings
Cock rings and penis rings are the same deal. Penis rings is sometimes used as it appears to be a “politer” term. Cock rings are designed to either be worn around the base of the penis or around the penis and testicles. Worn either way, a cock ring, restricts the blood flow out of the penis meaning a firmer (harder) erection. It may help to also slow ejaculation. Many men experience greater penis sensitivity when wearing a cock ring.
There are variety of penis rings at Aphrodite’s Pleasure. These range from the Perfect Fit or Toynary through to the Lucrezia and de Sade’s leather and stud variety. If you are new to using penis rings, I would recommend either the Perfect Fit cock rings (multi pack – 3 sizes) or the Lucrezia and de Sade’s leather stud clip cock straps. These two brands can be put on either flaccid or erect. The Perfect Fit and Toynary has three different size rings – the small and medium rings may be used around the base of the penis, the larger (or even the medium) may be stretched around the penis and testicles. The L&D cock strap is designed to be placed around the penis and testicles. Another advantage of wearing cock rings is that it pushes the “pubic package” out and enhances the look of size under clothes.
For the more adventurous try the Ovo Vibrating Cock Ring or for the top of the line vibrating rings Lelo’s Tor. This will enhance sex with your partner through the vibrating section being designed for stimulation of both partners or even when masturbating.
Male masturbators are fun toys for men. At Aphrodite’s Pleasure we have a selection of male masturbators to help men achieve a more pleasurable experience masturbating. Of course good masturbation is a technique which all men could learn (See Boxed Text – Mindful masturbation for Men).
Although I am talking about the pleasures of masturbators, there are also therapeutic uses. For men with ejaculatory control issues, like premature ejaculation, or cumming to quickly, a masturbator can help train you to last longer and better tolerate sensations. For men who experience delayed ejaculation, or find it difficult to ejaculate, a masturbator can assist bringing sensation back into your arousal and decrease the time to ejaculation.
The staff at Aphrodite’s Pleasure have selected a number of masturbators. The most popular range is the world leading Tenga ™ range. A Japanese brand which is sleek, innovative and taking the world by storm. There are three elements in the Tenga range: Tenga Eggs – which contain a sleeve and can be used a few times; the Tenga Cups – a cushioned cup, with each cup a different designed inside (with proper cleaning and condom use you can get up to 12 uses from the cups) and the top of range (and our biggest seller of all male products) the Tenga Flip Hole. Each of the products in each of the Tengas have a different design for different experiences.
Alternatives to the Tenga masturbator range is the Baller Spiral – similar to Tenga Cups; or the Vibratex Sidekick Sleeve. The Sidekick is a sleeve made out of body-friendly material and is smooth one side and has ticklers on the other – so two sensations for the price of one. Just turn the sleeve inside out to change the experience you desire. Tenga also produce their 3D range of sleeves.
If you want an experience to really stimulate and blow your mind have a look at Fun Factory’s Cobra – the only vibrating masturbator at Aphrodite’s Pleasure. Another popular product with the panel of selectors and customers. The team at Aphrodite’s Pleasure only carries the one vibrating masturbator as they believe it is best on the market.
P-Spot and anal toys
The prostate, or p-spot – is the man’s equivalent to the g-spot. The prostate plays an important role in our arousal and stimulation. The anus also contains many nerve endings and can be pleasurable. Anal masturbation, or stimulation during sex, is considered more pleasurable for men than women because of the presence of the prostate gland which women do not have. (Women have an analogous Skene’s gland, which serves a similar function but is not in the same place as the male prostate.) The prostate can be found approximately 5cm inside the male anus. Stimulation of the prostate will result in more intense and better orgasms.
Anal toys can be categorised into four categories: prostate massagers, butt plugs, anal beads and dildos. Aphrodite’s Pleasure carry a number of prostate massagers. Lelo’s Bob is a joy to be hold while the Duke from Fun Factory is one of biggest sellers and voted most popular by our panel of selectors. Pipedream also produce a p-spot stimulator called the Vibrating P Spot Spiral.
If you are looking for anal beads you cannot go past Fun Factory’s Bendy Beads, or Pipedreams Beginner Bead Set. The butt plug range at Aphrodite’s Pleasure include Pipedream’s 1 and 2 Finger Fantasy plugs or Fun Factory’s Boosty and Bootie Anal Plugs. If you are looking for a dildo-style anal toy try Lelo’s Billy or Fun Factory’s Stronic Eins or Stronic Zwei Pulsator . The FF Stronic Zwei is recommended by staff at Aphrodite’s Pleasure and definitely not for the feint hearted.
If you are new to anal play Pipedream has the Anal Beginners Collection and Pipedream produces several different anal toys for beginners. Browse through the Anal toy category and find a toy right for you.
A penis pump is first and foremost a toy to enhance your masturbation or sexual experience. Many men ask do penis pumps increase size. From speaking to “pumpers” the answer is yes if used sensibly and a sustained pumping regime is maintained – yet the size is not permanent. Penis pumps are also useful for men who experience erectile dysfunction, especially after prostate surgery. It is important to not over pump your penis as it can cause damage. A penis pump, or erection vacuum device, increases an erection by drawing blood into the penis through the use of vacuum and increasing the erection.
The Hydromax Bathmate is a penis pump designed to be used in the bath (or shower – it can be used without water). It is the new kid on the block so to speak and is proving very popular internationally. At Aphrodite’s Pleasure the team also stocks the Dr Joel Kaplan Penis Pump and Redline Penis Pump from Seven Creations. Penis pumps can be fun when used appropriately. Stronger and firmer erections can be a great result.
Selecting the Toy
Understand what areas of the body you want to stimulate. Explore and understand your body. When selecting your toy read the description, watch videos (not a reference to porn here guys…) and read any reviews. Consider the material the toy is made from – how does it feel? Is it vibrating or pulsating? How strong is the vibration? Choose your toy according to your needs. Do the research. Know what you want to do with toy. Ask questions – email me or the team at Aphrodite’s Pleasure.
In future columns I will be to explore different aspects of men’s and women’s sexuality in more detail and talk about how toys can be a great addition to your sex lives.
Most importantly, remember a healthy life includes a healthy sex life, and a healthy sex life is sane, sensible and sensual.
Dr Christopher Fox is a Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist at Sex Life Therapy in Melbourne. He has clinics in East Melbourne and Frankston.
Disclaimer: The information contained in this document should be read as general in nature and is only to provide an overview of the subject matter covered. Please read product packaging carefully and follow all instructions.