How Long Should I Last
There is no definitive answer to this question. Each man is different and each time we have sex or masturbate is different. A recent Australian study reported that approximately 50% of men lasted between two and ten minutes of penetration (1). Only six per cent of men last 20 minutes or more. Lasting a long-time during sex is not common, or is it a requirement for good sex! One quarter of men reported ejaculating in under two minutes.
|Duration of penetration||Less than 1 min||1-2 mins||2-5 mins||5-10 mins||10-20 mins||Longer than 20 mins|
Adapted from Harrison et al (1)
I Last Less than Two Minutes? Do I have Premature Ejaculation?
There is no clear definition or diagnosis for premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation is defined as ejaculating before, or shortly after penetration (2,3). In essence if a man ejaculates before penetration, or within two minutes of penetration we suggest premature ejaculation is present. No formal tests for premature ejaculation exist. Initial diagnosis is based on self-reporting.
Many men who present at my clinics report having PE, yet on further exploration the individual is lasting around 7-10 minutes and is achieving orgasm before their partner – this is not to be confused with PE. In this situation I work with both partners to improve their sex life.
What is Premature Ejaculation?
Premature ejaculation (PE) or rapid ejaculation as it is now known is the term used for the lack of ejaculatory control or cumming too soon. Any man can experience premature ejaculation at any time. Sometimes it is a one-off occurrence. One-off occurrences of rapid ejaculation is not a problem and is quite common. For some men, premature ejaculation can occur often and results in the man feeling embarrassed and sexual dissatisfaction for the man and his partner.
Most importantly, is that the partner does think their man is not attracted to them or they (the partner) is somehow to blame. Premature ejaculation more often than not occurs during penetration. It can also occur before penetration – during oral sex or foreplay. Some men also experience rapid ejaculation during masturbation. Premature ejaculation occurs when the body is highly aroused (although you may not be sexually aroused).
The body is aroused during periods of stress which can result from work or life stress, or even stress in the relationship. High periods of sexual arousal can also result in rapid ejaculation, like when a man is with a new partner or trying a different sexual activity. Premature ejaculation is underpinned by a psychosocial and a physical element.
How Common is Premature Ejaculation?
Around one in four men experience premature ejaculation. According to results of the Australian Study of Health and Relationship, 23.8% of the 8,517 men sampled reported they “came too quickly” (4). The rate of reporting is consistent across the age groups with the exception of men between 16 and 19 years.
|Age Group||16-19 yrs n = 395||20-29 yrs n = 1,912||30-39 yrs n = 2,271||40-49 yrs n = 2,054||50-59 yrs n = 1,735|
Adapted from Richters et al. (4)
Can it be Fixed?
Yes, with sex therapy. Premature ejaculation is a common issue we deal with in therapy. Through therapy we identify the underlying anxiety and stress and assist you to develop skills and tools manage stress and anxiety.
Learning Ejaculatory Control
One technique is to use the start/Stop Technique. When masturbating, as you get close to orgasm stop masturbating, relax your pelvic floor (including your buttocks, legs, abdomen). Once the “urge” has passed begin masturbating again. It does not matter how often you have to stop – with time you develop better ejaculatory control skills. Aim initially for five minutes, then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes before orgasming and ejaculating. You can use a similar technique with your partner when having sex. Remember, this alone will not provide a solution and sex therapy is the best way to assist with premature ejaculation.
Will Masturbation Aids Help?
In short, yes. Masturbating sleeves like the Tenga Products will also assist you in developing ejaculatory control. When using a masturbation sleeve, it is the increase in sensation combined with the Start/Stop technique which is assisting you in improving ejaculatory control. The results of a small study using the Tenga Flip Hole found around 80% achieved better control and 75% experienced reduced distress (6). Some products which may help you on your journey:
Premature ejaculation is experienced by approximately one in four men. Premature ejaculation is easily treated. If you believe you have issues with premature ejaculation or ejaculatory control speak to a sex therapist today. Remember a healthy life includes a healthy sex life.
Dr Christopher Fox is a Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist at Sex Life Therapy in Melbourne. He has clinics in East Melbourne and Frankston.
Harrison, C., Bayram, C., & Britt, H. (2013). Premature ejaculation. Australian Family Physician, 42, 5, 265. American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders. 4th ed. Washington, DC: APA, 2000. International Society for Sexual Medicine. ISSM definition of premature ejaculation. http://www.issm.info/prod/system/main/index.asp (accessed Mar 2008). Richters, J., Grulich, A.E., de Visser, R.O., Smith, A.M.A., & Rissel, C.E. (2003). Sexual difficulties in a representative sample of adults. Australian & New Zealand Journal of Public Health, 27, 2, 164-170. Symonds T, Perelman MA, Althof S, et al. (2007) Development and validation of a premature ejaculation tool. Eur Urol, 52, 2, 565-73 Rodriguez Martinez, J.E. & Lopez Lopez, A. (<i<n.d.). Case Series for a male masturbation device for the treatment of premature ejaculation. Presented at the 4th International Consultation on Sexual Medicine. International society of Sexual Medicine. Disclaimer: The information contained in this document should be read as general in nature and is only to provide an overview of the subject matter covered. Please read product packaging carefully and follow all instructions.